A SQL Server Microsoft Certified Master, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a cantina…

Not so long ago in a galaxy around the corner…

Dramatis Personae

  • Grenz Bahol, a Jedi Master from Sulon
  • Randy Knight, a Microsoft Certified Master from Earth
  • Din Djarin, The Mandalorian

Scene: A Cantina on Yavin 4

Bartender: What will it be?

Randy: Trandoshan ale for me.

Din: Starfire ‘skee.

Grenz: Tsraki.

Randy: A strange beverage for a Jedi.

Grenz: What do you know of the ways of the Jedi?

Randy: As a Microsoft Certified Master, I am a SQL Jedi.

Grenz: You? A Jedi? Please elaborate.

Randy: I protect data. I help others attain a state of inner tranquility because they know I use my powers, similar to the Force, to keep data secure.

Grenz, laughing: A noble cause, surely, but not the same as bringing peace and justice to the Galactic Republic.

Din: He’s right, Randy. Your struggles with data cannot be compared to a Jedi fighting a Sith. This is the way.

Randy: …There are differences, of course. Without the Jedi, our universe falls into anarchy. But, if I and my fellow SQL Jedi are not protecting data, there would be similar chaos. Just as the Force surrounds us and penetrates us and binds the galaxy together, we are surrounded by data, from our starships to our comms devices, to our homes and guilds. When data flows without hindrance, commerce flows. Information flows and aids knowledge. Knowledge supports growth.

Din, to Grenz: Perhaps our MCM friend has a reasonable point. This is the way.  

Grenz, unconvinced: You are savvy in your argument, Randy. Knowledge, the Force, and self-discipline are considered the three pillars of Jedi strength. Lacking any of these three, I am something less than a Jedi. When I do not increase my knowledge, I fail. If I do not understand the Force and how to make use of it, I fail. If I do not govern my emotions, I fail. From whence comes an MCM’s strength?

SQL Jedi

Randy: Wisdom, which is knowledge seasoned by experience; patience; and competence. A SQL Jedi welcomes data challenges and looks forward to the opportunity to learn and expand their wisdom. Addressing a database concern today helps me avoid the same kind tomorrow. Meaning, I am diligent and careful about backing up my instances. I don’t get emotional about difficulties. If my database is failing over, I use my knowledge of tools to establish a failover cluster.

Din, laughing: Speaking of clusters, did I tell you guys how the Bounty Hunter’s Guild was trying to kill me after I rescued the green kid from the Client? This is the way!

Grenz and Randy stare silently at Din.

Grenz: Randy, your work is worthy and your spirit is true, but you are no Jedi. You don’t even have a lightsaber.

Randy: Perhaps…but I am a Knight. And I have ADS.

Din: This is the way.

Grenz and Randy, in unison to Din: Why do you keep saying that?

Din, shrugging: This is the way I talk. It’s no big deal.

Bartender delivers drinks. The trio pick up their beverages.

Grenz, raising his drink: Then let us drink to all who do things the right way and protect the universe, or SQL Server databases, or little adorable green baby Jedis.


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