‘Twas the Day of PASS Summit…

In 2014, we published a SQL-themed “Night before Christmas” blog post that proved highly popular with the SQL community. As an homage to that post five years ago, we present to you this year’s version….

‘Twas the day of PASS Summit, when all through the venue,
SQL experts were hungry and grabbing a menu;
Sandwiches were made and stacked with care
In hopes that starving DBAs would soon be there,

The presenters all stressed and prepped for their sessions;
While the keynoters hoped to make a good impression;
And Randy with his Surface and me with my laptop,
Took our seats and waited for big news to drop.

When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter;
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Out of the hall to the foyer I flew like a flash,
Pushed others aside and made a quick dash.

There was a strong commotion and a buzz all around,
As if Elvis or Santa Claus had just been found.
The crowd was delirious, and eventually I could glean,
They had discovered the first copy of SQL Server 2019.

This was a real find, a true Holy Grail;
Deploy this beauty and your data won’t fail.
With a focus on AI at its Microsoft heart,
You can crunch big data right from the start.

Speed, security and flexibility to boot,
It renders all other platforms almost instantly moot.
With HTAP, HDFS and PMEM and acronyms galore,
You’ll be like a kid in the proverbial candy store.

On premises, hybrid or in the cloud,
Leverage all your info and make your CIO proud.
SSRS mobile reporting for smartphones and tables,
This is reality, son, not fantasies or fables.

I was staggered, I was dazed, I was lost in a trance,
While others celebrated with a quaint happy dance.
The one thing I wanted, and so did the “Betties”,
Was High Availability in my Kubernetes.

Randy read my mind and gave me a shout,
“You can do that with this, so you better not pout!
Just install it and love it, don’t be afraid,
Happy SQL to all, and to all a good upgrade!

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